I received my undergraduate degree in psychology from the University of New Mexico in 1996 at the age of 26. I then traveled and took the path less chosen for a number of years. I returned to school in 2003, graduating with my M.A. in Counseling Psychology, in 2006.
I have worked as a therapist/social worker for the last 8 years. I learned to help people heal as they figure out their best path in life.
How many of us even know what is the best for us in any given moment?
I’m not sure much of what is best for me most of the time.
I have taught myself to trust a combination of using gut instincts, behavioral therapy skills I’ve learned to process experiences, and advice from trusted family and friends.
What I’ve learned from my job is that I trust that people, with my guidance, have a better sense regarding what is the right choice for them.
I can support and give insight by helping show people what I’ve learned, mastered and continue to study through the years.
Perhaps the safety people feel when someone isn’t perfect, or admits that they too are growing each day, allows them to create plans unlike any I could have imagined for them.
It is a wonder to see how their minds work. I love watching people grow and learn about themselves.
As mentioned before, I do cause most of my own problems and pain. However, I’ve also come to realize that, when I own my choices, people react in ways that surprise me. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It depends on their view of the world and their place in it.
The old saying, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime” makes sense to me. It is also how I work as a therapist. I can guide and teach a client but they have to help himself to learn the skills so they can continue down their own path, confident in his own abilities.
This insight about owning my life and letting others own theirs allows me to see when it is someone else’s issue.
This gives me greater confidence and trust. I can look at the issue more objectively, without anger, and decide if I want to put any energy into it or the person.
I’m content with who I am and how I deal with others. The people I care about seem to feel the same way towards me. This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop striving to learn, advance, and grow. I’m just going to do it with a stronger sense of self. This means, I can take ownership of my mistakes and let others do the same. I don’t need to carry what is theirs.
Thoughts to ponder:
1. How can I take responsibility for my actions while still being able to see when it is the other person’s issue?
2. How has my thinking changed since 5 years ago about self/other blame and judgment?
3. How would I like to be able to think about self/other blame and judgment in 5 years?
4. When someone criticizes me, what steps can I take to think logically about their points and decide whether or not they are accurate in my own world view?
5. When you were a kid, what belief system did you learn, through watching others?
6. Does it still work for you or have you changed it and how?
7. What would you like to change about your belief system today?
8. What do you imagine your belief system will be 10 years from now?