I am a fan of David Burns’ style of therapy. He is famous for the book, The Feeling Good Handbook, and is a master at therapy. All of his work is based on research, testing and is verifiable so it is easy to see when you are helping a client and when you are not. In fact, clients rate the therapist and the usefulness of therapy after each session. He uses a lot of empathy before using any techniques or tools with clients because it seems so many people go unheard and so many therapists, including me, miss so much of what our clients. He has a very specific way of doing empathy and it is similar to Motivational Interviewing.
In regards to this therapy, I have been going to a supervision group, led by the amazing Brac Selph, PhD, for the last three years. They have become like family to me. This was going to be my last supervision with the group before I leave for Beijing and it is also Brac’s last group also. He is an amazing therapist, superviser, and dare I say, friend. I am honored and humbled ot have learned from such a brilliant, dedicated and kind person.
The group met and discussed endings, finality and what we have learned and what matters to us. What I love about this group is that everyone is comfortable and is willing to be vulnerable and we work on personal work as well as client work. We do not talk about clients as much as we play them live so we can get a better idea of how we, as therapists and people, have missed what our clients need and our own projections and beliefs of what the clients should be doing are actually hurting our clients and reducing the effectiveness of the work we do. We learn that our egos, and our inability to be honest and vulnerable, is often the cause of the problem with our clients. It sounds easy to be vulnerable but it is truly an art and this group has helped me become much more proficient in it.
I will be sad to leave this group but it seems to be the right time for me. I feel like they are also a part of my family that I’m leaving but it is for the right reason and allows me closure as I start this new chapter in my life. I have learned, through therapy, studying, and this group, that all is impermanent and there is no truth out there. Life is what you make it and to take in emotions deeply, live and die with them in that second, and let go. Be at peace, treat others with respect and care, and move forward as best you can.