Category Archives: Travel

Flooding intersection near work. One either walks in the water or in the street.

Notice the different reds and the KFC in the upper right corner.

This morning was a bit muggy and humid.  Not much compared to Beijing standards but to me it felt that way.  On the way home it was a different story.  The weather was, as one of the receptionists at work said, “Severe rain.”  She was right.  The streets here are pretty flat and the runoff doesn’t really runoff.  The crosswalks get totally overwhelmed and you have to either walk in the street or walk through about 4 inches of standing water.  Since I’m wearing pretty nice clothes for work I do my best to walk in the street and not get hit by passing cars.  So far so good.

I tend to love thunderstorms and this was a wonderful one.  It had rain, hail, thunder and lightening.  I was smiling the whole way even though I was getting drenched.  By the time I got home, after a 15 minute walk, my pants were soaked up to the knees.  Maybe next time I’ll take a picture of them to give an idea of how strong the rain comes down in Beijing.  And it doesn’t stay mainly in the plains here either.

I ended up spending day buying clothes and getting ready for my new job in Beijing.  I went to see my friend, Alethea, who helped me shop for clothes at Macy’s.  She has a fantastic eye for fashion and I have known her for about 20 years or more.  She is also married to one of my best friends, Randy, and I have seen their relationship bloom and marriage happen between them.  They are a wonderful couple and have a fantastic kid.

I bought a bunch of slacks, shirts, undershirts that are specially made for hot temperature climates, fun socks, and other things that I will need.  I still haven’t been able to realize that this is final and I’ll be moving to Beijing for three years.  However, by going shopping and imaging myself wearing this clothes in an office, it is starting to sink in more and more each moment.

As it starts to sink in, I’m starting to finally feel a little nervousness and anxiety.  I feel this is normal, and expected, and it is easy to deal with because I know that I should feel some anxiety.  It is not very much and it is mostly the nervousness that comes with excitement and change.  It is interesting to note when I tell people that I’m moving to Beijing for three years whether they respond with, “Are you excited?” or “Are you nervous?” as those seem to be the two main questions that people ask.  I have no idea what those questions say about the people asking them but it would be interesting to find out and see why some people tend to be nervous about changes like this or excited.

For me, it is 95% excitement and 5% nervousness.  I feel that is a very reasonable level and will continue to watch and record excitement versus nervousness as I move forward and make sure to keep things in order so that my nervousness doesn’t increase.  I know what I need to get done so I’m not nervous and have a plan on how and when to do everything coming up.  I believe that my nervousness will actually drop to 0% as I continue on the path for my plan and step on the plane to China and my excitement will increase.  What I imagine will happen as my excitement increases is my grief about leaving family, friends and what I “know” as home will increase also which is very different than nervousness.  I plan to track this also to learn more about what triggers these emotions.  This may sound boring but I actually find it very fun, and enlightening to know what triggers certain emotions and how I can alleviate them if they troublesome in the moment, or engage more deeply in them and let myself be at peace with the feelings and thoughts they bring up.  It is all fleeting and impermanent so I do my best to enjoy the feeling and emotion and then move on to what happens next.

This is a picture of my father and my nephew, Nathan. It is probably from 8 years ago and it shows the playful nature of my dad and captures his spirit well.My dad has dementia.

We aren’t sure if is caused by Temporary Ischemic Attacks or Alzheimer’s Disease.  In the end, it doesn’t matter.  Actually, at this point it doesn’t really matter.  We can’t do anything to slow the progression or help him remember more than about a 5 minute span of time at this point.

I took my dad to get an MRI today.  The doctors wanted to see how his brain is adjusting and if there were any major changes since his last one in 2009.  It was nice to spend some time with him and watch as he smiled and remembered who I am.  He still has that ability, which is wonderful, because I’m fairly sure he will not have any memory of who I am when I return in three years.  We joked a bit and we enjoyed being with each other.

My dad still has a strong hold on the distant past but not of the recent.  Because of his memory issues, his life is primarily lived in the present moment.  This can be wonderful because each second is new and interesting.  However, most the time, it is not that experience for my dad.  Imagine if you had forgotten the last five years of your life and now were trying to retrace every moment, in present time, without understanding what you were doing five minutes ago.  It is like the movie Momento without the fun and intrigue.  It is, primarily, a sad and fear-inducing existence.  I’m grateful my dad was able to enjoy most of our time together and that we were able to have some wonderful moments during this visit.

It will most likely be my last time I see my dad and it will be, for me, a wonderful memory.  I hope, somewhere in his mind, it will also be a wonderful memory for him.