Day 29 in Beijing: Spellcheck Fail.

Spellcheck Fail.


I’m not sure if you have ever heard the term Spell check Fail.

If you haven’t, you have now.

There are some truly fantastic, and absurd, statements that are semi-written by humans and semi-written by the cyborg machine that we have with us all the time.

I mean our iPhones, iPads or Android machines.

I just had a wonderful experience in semi-writing one myself.

As you know, from my post, “It’s a beautiful Day In The Neighborhood” I just recently spent 4 hours in IKEA outfitting my new 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. It is the first time, in about 10 years, that I’ll have lived in alone in my own apartment and not had to share with anyone. This is a luxury in my life and I feel as if it is time to have that space and freedom.

So, I spent my time buying a beautiful armoire, wine glasses, champagne glasses, dishes, cutlery, blankets, sheets, pillows, towels, dish rack, cooking utensils, and many other things including a very comfy writing chair, which, as the big bad wolf would say, “All the better to see you with my dear readers.”

Total price? About 650 bucks American. A deal and about half what it would cost back in the Bay Area.

So, I write to my mom about this event and all the planning and time that it took and mentioned that I still have an older washer in my apartment.

Actually not just in my apartment, in my bathroom. This is common in China as the drain on the floor works for both the shower and the washing machine. And there is no dryer. You either hang them outside to dry in the summer or in front of the wall heaters to dry in the winter. It saves a lot of energy and works just fine as far as I can tell.

Also, in case you were wondering, Dear Readers, there is a Western style toilet. Again, I lived in Japan in 1996 and I really don’t enjoy the idea of using squat toilets again. No need for pictures or descriptions. I’m pretty I’ve already burnt into your memory an image you’d rather forget.

Think of cute puppies instead. Or rainbows. Or Unicorns.

All better?

Good, we can move on with the story.

So, I’m relating all this buying frenzy to my mom and mention about the old laundry machine and how I may decide to buy a new one.

My mom, ever thoughtful, suggests that buying a new washing machine, if I’m only here for 3 years, may be too large of an investment and see how the old one works.

I let her know that it only costs about $200 American to buy a decent washing machine.

Here is where it gets interesting,

“Also it could save money in the long term because the newer washing machine will treat my clothes more softly.”




It makes total sense, right?


Not so much to my mom. Thankfully she has a great sense of humor.

She raised me, she must have one!


How did my spell check fail message appear on her screen, you ask?

“Also it could save money in the long term because the newer washing machine will TEAR my MOTHERS more softly.”

Wow, imagine her surprise that washing machines in China tear mothers more softly.


I guess, if you do a comparison, you would want a washing machine that tears mothers more softly compared to one that causes a lot of pain.

Why would you want to tear your mother roughly?

Are you some kind of sadist?

Anyway, I can’t imagine this is what my mom wanted to hear the day of her 20th anniversary with her loving husband, Phillip.

Many people tell me that past events with their parents is a reason why they enter therapy.

I’m, proud to say that I think I just reversed that trend in one fell swoop.

Happy Anniversary, Mom.

My gift?

A simple little thing called

Spellcheck Fail.

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