Day 86 in Beijing: A Movie By Another Other Name…

would be a Precious Milk Dad 2.

With all apologies to Toto and Shakespeare, we ain’t in Kansas anymore.

During my stay in China, I’ve seen American movies that I never knew even existed.  Many of these are with no-name actors.

There are also many films with famous actors that went straight to dvd the second they came out.  Or possibly VHS.  Or even Betamax.  They are that old and that bad.

Here are just a few with the American names first and the Chinese names after.

The Croods: Crazy Primitive.

Despicable Me 2: Precious Milk Dad 2.

Step Up with Channing Tatum: Dance Out Of My Life.

The Illusionist: Magician

King Kong: King of the Lost World

Shelter: To Cover Nongchao

Shanghai Nights: Royal Dragon

The Grey: Werewolf Wars

Transporter: Death Defying Track

Crazy For You: Bold Affair

Kickin’ It Old School: New Hip Hop Song

Killer Elite: Jagged Elite

Goldfinger: Bond’s World

Imagine Me and You: Quadrangle

Megasnake: Mad Python Scourge


And my personal favorite American movie ever:

2 Headed Shark Attack: Double Killer Shark


Here’s what I notice. Many of these movies, regardless of whether their names are in English or Chinese, are not a movie I’d want to watch.  The Chinese are getting a steady stream of our worst movies, many extremely violent, and missing a lot of the more intelligent and worthwhile movies that will educate and enlighten.  It is amazing that the Chinese have such a positive view of America being that if we only saw that worst of the worst of Chinese films (violent, degrading to women and people of color, and lots of drugs and alcohol) I would think we’d have a very negative view of China.  Sort of like the propaganda we were sold about Russia back during the Cold War.

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