Jill and I truly loved the dinosaur displays and wanted to take some videos.
These three are rather short but I find them utterly hilarious and absurd.
It is insane discoveries, like these, that make all the hardships of travel, very worthwhile.
How else would we have ever even though that something like this would be in the middle of the Gobi Desert and be real?
We wouldn’t have.
But we do now.
And so do you.
The famous “Kissing Apatosauri” of Erlian. Seriously, why the heck are they making out?
We are getting close to the end now.
Our cabbie picked us up and we headed towards the Erlian Airport since we decided to spend a few more bucks and fly back home.
We had heard about this massive dinosaur sculpture area but knew we weren’t taking the bus back and would not be able to see them.
Jimmy and Adam actually were able to catch a car back for about the same price as they would have paid for the bus and so they were well on their way and were safe and sound.
We realized that we were actually heading right for it and that we had a great chance to get some hilarious pictures and videos.
Thanks to Sienna for making sure the dinosaurs were correctly identified and not called a brontosaurus when they are not.
We had no idea there would be so many crazy dinosaur sculptures and displays. It seriously blew our minds.
Simply said, our exit from Erlian could note have ended on a better note!
The butcher and her shop.
After we picked up the rice, the Mongolian ladies wanted to buy some beef.
Mongolian beef, from what I’ve heard, is amazing.
I’m a vegetarian so I don’t know if that is true but it sells for a lot on the black market in Beijing.
Now, you may ask, how does one get Mongolian beef across the border since it is illegal to take meat, or other perishable products, across them.
This is where a really good driver, and connections, seem to come in handy.
We drove up to a butcher and stopped.
Actually, we drove up to a house, in which a butcher shop seemed to open, and the ladies went in to buy some beef.
Jill stayed outside and rested while I went in to see what was going on.
There was a guy cutting the ribs and a woman selling it.
This obviously was a well known place and the lady knew Diana and these women.
They come here a lot obviously.
After I left the butcher house, I looked around and noticed one of the strangest advertisemnts I’ve seen in a long time.
A huge black guy, and a tall white women, all pumped up and rippling with muscles.
This was on the side of one of the buildings near the butcher house and one of the ladies pointed to it and said, “Gym!”
I’m not sure why a black man, and a white woman, who are seemingly pretty steroided up would help in advertisements, but I guess it does. Strange.
We hopped back in the SUV and started our return voyage to Erlian, China.
We had to do the reserve trip being that we left Mongolia first, and then headed into China.
It took a bit longer because the Mongolian government really seemed to be searching cars that went back to China and we though the beef, which was hidden under the seats, was going to be found.
Luckily, it wasn’t and we jumped back in the SUV and headed for China.
By the way, after the pictures, I posted a video of Diana and the other women speaking Mongolian. It is a beautiful language and well worth listening/watching as we drive through, “No Man’s Land.”
When we went through Chinese immigration, it got a bit dicey.
The guards there saw I had a “Z Visa” which is a work visa. I sincerely doubt ANY person on a Z visa comes to Erlian for a visa run because the company that hired you sponsors you and you don’t have to do these stupid visa runs.
The guards really took along time and were very officious and called over their boss and he kept looking at the Passport and then back at me as if I was some kind of criminal.
They finally let me through and then gave the same treatment to Jill.
After about 15 minutes we were done and waited for Diana and her car by the Rainbow Statue.
After that she dropped us back at our hotel and we hung out until the next taxi driver, which our buddy, Moeava, set us up with, came to pick us up.
I work with cilents that often are dealing with anxiety.
It is interesting work because anxiety can usually be cured within about 5-10 sessions, if not faster.
Some people take longer but cognitive behavioral therapy has been proven to be the front line therapy and even more effective than medications.
I love doing this work because I love seeing people overcome obstacles and figure out that they are much more strong and able to deal with issues then they originally thought.
They also learn skills so that they can master other anxieties and keep moving forward into the life that they want.
By the way, I’m not a big fan of diagnosing people but it sometimes help. This is where the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) comes in as that is the huge tome that classifies people according to the issue they are dealing with at that time.
Personally, I’d rather the person tell me what is going on and then figure out what strengths they have and how they’ve overcome issues like these before. I’m strength based, evidence based and behavioral based in my practice. I think people like that and understand they are more than their problems.
Just as you are more than what you present when you have the flu, people are much more than they present with when they come to a visit with me. They are all the positive that the DSM ignores becuase it is based on looking for problems and issues, not strengths.
I use it for what is helpful and don’t use what is not helpful to my clients or to me.
Strangely enough, cabs were never a fear for me.
That changed in the last two days.
The weird part is that it isn’t the cab drivers that scare me, but the slow and well mannered ones that do it.
I actually was driving in a cab, two days ago, where the driver went across the median twice in about 3 miles. I started laughing and thought, “this guy really knows how to get around traffic and slow drivers! I’m very impressed.”
I honestly wasn’t scared at all and felt relieved that the driver wasn’t wasting my time and money.
The last two rides I’ve had have been with incredibly mellow, calm and law abiding drivers.
It is freaking me out!
I’m not used to cabs letting other cars in, slowing down when pedestrians are in the road (cars have, without question, the right of way anywhere they want to go in China), and not driving on the other side of the road or honking like mad when they have to wait for more than .0000000000001th of a second when a light turns green. Trust me, the drivers here make NYC and CA drivers look positively serene.
However, the last two rides I’ve taken have allowed me to remember when I used to worry about driving and how dangerous it was because these guys are so safe.
It is a new type of anxiety, which doesn’t really worry me so i’m not sure I can even classify it as anxiety, and it makes me laugh.
I will just sit down, breathe a little bit, and enjoy the ride.
The Buddha wrote that, “Desire is the cause of all suffering” and I guess I can let go of my desire to control the cab and how the driver drives through Beijing.
On the other hand, Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through.”
I guess that applies equaly to cab rides, traffic and life.
Maybe I can, like most people in life, find a nice balance between the two and accept what happens in each moment and enjoy the ride.
So, I woke up early, hopped in a cab at 6 am, and went to work.
First off, I felt very lucky to grab a cab at 6 am because it usually takes about 10 minutes to grab one and it was about 20 degrees with a nice 20 mile per hour wind.
I had on my new jacket, gloves, and skullcap and it was still chilly.
I told the driver I wanted to go, “Xindonglu” and off we went.
This, also, is a lucky event because I usually have to show the driver my work card that has the directions in English and Chinese because my pronunciation is so bad.
The card opens up to show a map to my work which also makes it easier for the driver to find it because there is always construction and companies change location so often it gets confusing.
So, off we go into the dark night.
As my driver speeds around on near empty streets, he is listening to a Chinese radio station.
Being we are in China, this pretty much is obvious and maybe I’m just being redundant.
As Robin Williams said in his stand up long ago, “Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant.”
Anyway, I started to pay attention to the radio show and noticed a strange word popping up in the conversation:
Affair.
That seemed to be the only English word being said over the airwaves so I became even more interested.
The next time the word came out of the speaker was when the announcer said, “Have an affair.”
Then more conversation in Mandarin.
The last time was when the talk show host said, “Having an affair.”
Then more Mandarin.
I am guessing they were teaching English and they had chosen to teach the word affair today.
I thought to myself what a strange word to teach people on a radio station but I’m not 100% sure that was what was even happening so maybe I’m wrong.
If anyone knows what this station is, or what they were discussing, I’d love to know.
I just made up a new word: Cabvertising.
I am going to trademark it right now.
Cabvertising is now trademarked and can only be used with the express written consent of Aram Nathan Sohigian, Esquire.
That is a subtle reference to Bill S. Preston, Esquire for anyone that grew up in the 1980s in America.
If you get it, you had a good childhood.
It is that simple.
What, may you ask, is cabvertising?
As I said, it is a word I just made up because it is the only way to explain what I see whenever I ride in a cab in Beijing.
The headrests have little video screens built into them and play advertisements the second the cabbie starts the meter.
I have figured out how to adjust the volume, or turn them off, but they seem to reset after a few minutes and go back to their base level.
Sometimes it is enjoyable to watch the ads and zone out but usually it is too much noise as the cabbie is listening to his own radio show, possibly talking on his cell phone at the same time, and then these ads are running non-stop when I just want to look at the city and take it in.
I’ve yet to see cabvertising in any other country I’ve lived in or visited and it is something specific to China as far as I can tell.
They are touch screens and it seems as if you can watch ads for products that you want and possibly order them right from the cab.
I do my best to stay away from touching the screen very much because I don’t want to inadvertently buy something and have to deal with trying to figure that out with the driver.
Expatriates have it tough enough living in a foreign country.
This may be obvious, since we are expatriates, but it is a real issue because when someone is living overseas, it seems that the rules people live by are very different.
This goes for the rules of the culture an expatriate is moving into but also for themselves as they decide what choice they want to make in regards to the rules they think they should respect and obey.
This then tends to lead into the choices of how an expatriate treats other expatriates, and locals, and how the other expatriates, and locals, treat the expatriates.
Yes, that sentence is confusing. So is being an expatriate.
My hope is that when we visit a foreign country, we show our best sides and keep the complaining, issues, and criticism to a minimum.
I am a guest, in your land, and I expect to behave as one.
This gets confused, especially living in a country like China, where many people don’t speak English and people that do may not speak to you.
But you can be sure they are listening and hearing everything you say about their country, your country and your beliefs.
Almost all of the Chinese nationals I’ve met are incredibly nice and friendly. Every once in a while, you run into a person having a bad day or whatever, but that is true of anywhere I’ve been.
I try to keep my complaints at home and between myself and the people that need to hear them.
Even if I’m tempted to complain on the subway, a bus, or somewhere in public, I try not to so as to respect other people and not influence people negatively about my country and my culture.
This is hard to do, sometimes, and yet it is a goal I work towards each day.
I did have an experience that bothered me greatly just last week.
We had been shopping for Jill’s phone and then went to dinner.
As we left, we hailed a cab.
A female passenger left the cab and basically ran into a restaurant behind us.
The male passenger started yelling at the cabbie and the cabbie started showing him the receipt and arguing with him in return.
Our friend, Federica, who speaks Mandarin, was listening and I could get the jist of what was going on.
The male passenger then took off into the restaurant and we got in the cab after the driver looked at us and sat back down in his car.
Federica started talking to him and the cabbie said that the passengers had refused to pay the 109RMB, about 18 bucks US, and stiffed him.
He said this has happened to him twice now.
He said this has happened to his cousin four times in the past.
His cousin no longer will pick up expatriates and this cabbie was thinking of doing the same.
Being that he told us this, we were surprised he picked us up at all. Maybe he was telling us because Federica could speak Mandarin and Jill and I were trying to be empathetic towards him. Maybe he didn’t want to think this about expatriates and he was asking for us to help him with this thought.
As a behavioral therapist, that is what I’d like to think.
Federica kept talking to him and Jill and I did our best to make sounds that would show we felt bad for him. We kept nodding our heads up and down in agreement with his, and Federica’s, comments.
We asked the cabbie how he could make up the money and he said that he would not be able to and would have to pay it himself.
Cabbies, like almost all service workers in China, don’t get any tips.
His company would take the lost fare out of his wages.
I don’t have any proof, but my guess would be that most cabbies make about $200-300 USD a month.
Maybe $400 at the most.
In other words, this was a huge loss for him.
And, it seemed to us, a huge loss in regards to positive international relations between people and cultures.
At the end of our cab ride, Federica, Jill and I pitched in and gave him 45RMB (6 bucks US).
He tried to hand it back to us but Federica told him it was to help out with his loss and we wished him good luck on the rest of his shift.
As we exited the cab, he got out, started bowing to us, and kept saying, “Xie Xie (thank you)” over and over again until we motioned to him to get back in the cab and said “Bú kè qi (you are welcome)” numerous times.
It wasn’t very much for us to do but we didn’t want this cabbie to feel alone and cheated by expatriates when we could help put a positive spin on a horrible situation.
Hopefully, we did that.
We will never know unless we somehow meet this cabbie again and he stops to pick us up and remembers us.
He also may never pick up expatriates again.
Maybe, just maybe, when you, my readers, come to visit China, you will hail a cab and a young Chinese man will be driving you along the streets of Beijing.
He will tell you a story of how one group of expatriates ripped him off and then, just one minute later, another group helped him out.
The story will conclude with him telling you that he still believed that people, from all over this world, can be trusted and are kind.
He has proof of it.
That is the story I choose to believe because, as a cognitive therapist, and even more so as a human being, that is the story I want to believe.
